


1985

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Freaks and Geeks
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-02 23:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10230920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: Future fic in which Bill is a trans woman. She and Sam get together.





	1. Chapter 1

Sam hadn’t seen his high school best friend in four years, but it felt like longer. He knew from letters that Bill was living in New York and was a woman named Billie. And that he was the only person who knew that besides Billie’s mom. 

Sam had decided to visit New York after graduating college. He wanted an exciting adventure, but as he walked around the West Village he felt like this was all too exciting for him.

He arrived at the bar where Billie worked and looked around. He wondered if he’d actually recognize her. 

“Hey.”

Sam looked up. All his nervous anxiety was replaced with a rush of affection when he saw the big, dopey grin that he’d recognize anywhere. 

Billie had a lot of make up. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she was wearing giant Buddy Holly glasses, a tiny skirt and white button-up shirt with suspenders. As an adult, her lanky awkwardness almost seemed cool, in a quirky sort of way.

“You look… you look really cool,” Sam told her. 

Billie let out a low, loud chuckle. The dorkiness of that chuckle felt comfortingly familiar to Sam. “Yeah, it’s easier to have a sense of style when you’re not, you know, dressing up as something you’re not.” 

Sam nodded a little. “So, about that I…” Sam wasn’t sure where to begin with all the things he felt like he should ask and say. “Should I have known? Am I self-involved that I didn’t know?”

Billie shook her head. “I didn’t even know.”

Sam nodded. “So, um… why’d you pick that name? I mean, you didn’t want something more different?” 

“I always liked my name,” she said. “And Billie Jean King is, like, a really cool, powerful woman.” 

“Yeah, Billie’s a pretty name,” Sam said. “Um, so are you… are you okay? Living here and… and everything. It seems sort of dangerous.” 

“Sure, but I couldn’t really live in the suburbs and pretend all the time, you know?” Billie asked.

Sam nodded. “Yeah.” He smiled and said, “You know, you’re the bravest person I know.”

Billie grinned and said, “I know. Hey, let me grab drinks, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Sam watched her, thinking about how much she pulled off that tiny skirt. He realized that was weird and tore his eyes away. 

Billie returned with two beers. “So, how was college? I’m sorry I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“College was good,” Sam said. “I have a degree in English now. I don’t really know what I’m going to do. I guess become a teacher. Back home.” He laughed. “I’m really boring compared to you.”

Billie shook her head. “No, you’re not. Anyway, you know you’re going to at least have an exciting summer before you go back home, right?” 

Sam smiled and nodded. 

“How’s your family? And Neal?” Billie asked.

“Everyone’s good,” Sam said. 

“I feel bad I haven’t talked to Neal. Like, really talked. I don’t know if I can tell him about me,” Billie said. 

“But, you felt like you could tell me?” Sam asked.

Billie nodded. Sam smiled at her, flattered. 

 

That night, Billie led Sam into an apartment. She led him to a bedroom that was full of shelves and then into a closet that was mostly taken up by a mattress. 

“This is my room,” Billie said. “I can sleep on the floor if you want the mattress. You’re the guest.”

Sam furrowed his eyebrows. “Is your bedroom a closet?”

“Yeah,” Billie said with a nod. She sat down on the mattress and started taking off her clunky Doc Martens. “I’m really lucky because it has an actual door. Everyone else has to put shelves up around their place for privacy.” 

Sam stared at her, wondering how she could invite him over for the summer without mentioning that she lived in a closet. But, then it occurred to him that this was Billie and of course it hadn’t occurred to her to mention that. 

Billie looked up and tilted her head. “You’re smiling.” 

“Yeah, I was just thinking about how much I missed you,” Sam said. “And how much I like you.”

“Well, gee, you don’t have to be all cheesy about it,” Billie said, but she had that big, dopey grin again. 

Sam put his bag in the corner and took off his own shoes before sitting down next to Billie on the mattress. 

“How many roommates do you have?” 

“Five,” Billie said.

Sam laughed before realizing that she was serious. “Isn’t that hard?”

“Being alive is hard,” Billie said. 

“Is it weird when you have, like… a girl over?” Sam asked.

Billie pushed up her glasses and murmured, “I like boys more than girls.”

“Oh. Sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed,” Sam said. 

“It’s okay,” Billie said. “Anyway, I don’t really meet boys who like me.” 

“Really?” Sam asked.

“Why is that surprising?” Billie asked.

“Well, you’re just really… you know,” Sam said. He rolled his eyes and laughed, hoping Billie wouldn’t make him say it.

“What?” Billie looked back at him, completely oblivious. 

“You’re just really tall and go around in short skirts and, like…” 

Billie kept looking at him with a blank, big-eyed expression.

“You’re pretty,” Sam finished. “Sorry. That was weird to say.”

Billie grinned and said, “No, it wasn’t. You can tell me I’m pretty as much as you want.” 

Sam laughed and said, “Okay, well, you are.”

“I get asked out sometimes, sort of, at the bar,” Billie said. “But it’s like… I don’t really feel safe being alone with the kinds of guys who talk to me, so.” She stared down at the floor.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said, frowning.

“I never get compliments from guys who seem nice,” Billie told him. “Except for just a couple minutes ago when you told me that I’m pretty but I feel like that didn’t count.” 

“Well,” Sam said. He hesitated. Part of him wanted to just admit how attracted he was to Billie. To just come out and say that sitting next to her on the mattress with their knees almost touching was exciting. But, instead he said, “I just don't want to make our friendship weird.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Billie said. After a second, she said, “But, we are kind of just two people who haven’t spoken in four years and are gonna go our separate ways again soon.” 

“That’s true. Do you want to just make out?” Sam asked. 

Billie let out a loud, low giggle that ended in a snort. “Yes!”

Sam grinned at how cute she was. He started gently kissing her. Billie kissed back eagerly. 

She pulled away and said, “I might not be very good at kissing because I haven’t had a lot of practice.”

“No, it’s great,” Sam assured her. He started kissing her again, feeling a rush of excitement. 

After a minute, Billie stretched out on the bed. Sam moved on top of her as they kept kissing. 

He stuck to just kissing for a long time, but finally his excitement won out and he shyly asked, “Um, can I touch your ass?”

“Yeah, totally,” Billie said breathily. 

Sam felt up her ass as they kept kissing. 

“Does that feel good?” Billie asked softly. “My body?” 

“It feels really good,” Sam assured her. He started unbuttoning her shirt. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, but I don’t have tits,” Billie said apologetically.

“I know,” Sam said. He ran his hand over Billie’s chest. “You’re really hot.”

Billie grinned and nuzzled against Sam’s neck. “I want to ask you something but I’m nervous and I'm pretty sure you’re going to say no,” she said. She quickly added, “Which is okay.”

“What is it?” Sam asked.

“Do you want to have sex with me?” Billie asked softly. 

“Why would I say no to that?” Sam asked as he gently ran a hand down Billie’s ass.

“You know why,” Billie said softly. 

“You might have to kind of tell me what to do,” Sam said. “But, I want to.” 

Billie kissed him. She took a box of condoms and lubricant out of a small bag. “I bought these forever ago just in case,” she said. “I mean, not that long ago. They’re not expired or anything. Oh but they might feel different because I’m allergic to latex. Sorry.” 

Sam kissed her, then started undressing.

“You’re really handsome,” Billie told him. 

Sam grinned. “Thanks,” he said. 

“As far as telling you what to do, I think I should just roll onto my stomach and then, you know…” 

“Okay,” Sam said, nodding.

“And go slow because I haven’t done this before, okay?” Billie asked. 

“Of course,” Sam said. He kissed her. 

Billie quickly undressed the rest of the way then stretched out on her stomach. 

“You have such an incredible body,” Sam said as he felt Billie’s ass. He put on the condom and lubricant, then asked, “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Remember, I said slowly.” 

Sam pulled her hips up, then pushed into her a little. “How’s that feel?”

“Okay,” she said.

Sam kept slowly pushing into her. “Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop.”

Billie let out a slow breath. “That feels okay.”

Sam gripped her hips as he kept fucking her. “That feels really good,” he said.

Billie groaned and said, “Oh, shit, that felt good! Do that again.”

Sam rocked his hips backs and forth. “Like that?”

“Uh-huh,” she said breathily. 

Sam groaned and pushed into her a few more times until he came. 

He pulled out and threw the condom in the tiny garbage can in the corner. 

He wrapped his arms around Billie and then noticed that she was touching herself.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

“Do you want me to stop?” Billie asked.

“Well, I mean, I could do that for you,” Sam suggested. “Unless you think that wouldn’t feel as good.” 

Billie looked over and asked, “Are you comfortable with that?” 

“Of course,” Sam said. “I mean, we just had sex. It’s kind of the least I could do.” 

Billie rolled onto her back. Sam started stroking her. 

“You know, having sex with you felt really good,” Billie said breathily. She moaned happily.

“It felt really good for me too,” Sam said. 

Billie moaned and squeezed Sam’s arm as she came. 

Sam wrapped his arms around Billie. He kissed her neck.

After a minute, Billie laughed. 

“What is it?” Sam asked.

She propped her head up on one arm and smiled at him. “I was just thinking about how, you know… you’re Sam Weir. That’s so weird.”

Sam laughed. “Yeah, it is.”

“I did not like you at all in high school,” she said. “I mean, in that way. Obviously, I liked you in general. But, you were kind of…” She laughed. “Short.” 

He laughed. “I never thought about you like that either. But, now…” He ran his hand over Billie’s chest.

Billie grinned. “Yeah, we both grew up nice,” she said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Billie return to Michigan to visit their parents.

Halfway through the summer, Sam’s family convinced him to visit home. Then, Sam convinced Billie to come with him to visit her mom. 

During the tail end of their bus ride to Chippewa, they listened to “Crazy for You” on a Walkman with their heads close together so they could share one pair of headphones. 

“Madonna’s the most brilliant person alive,” Billie said. “Maybe from all of history.”

Sam laughed and said, “I know you think so, Billie.”

Her jaw dropped and she asked, “What? Do you not agree?”

“Maybe I just think this song sounds better when you’re singing it,” Sam said.

Billie grinned big. “You don’t think that. I’m not better than Madonna. You’re just being cheesy.”

“Maybe I’m fine with being cheesy when it makes you smile like that,” Sam said.

Billie’s smile widened and she said, “Now you’re being even cheesier.” 

“Yeah, and you’re smiling even bigger so mission accomplished,” Sam said. 

He happily kissed Billie. 

The woman sitting on the seat across from them said, “Come on! No one wants to see that!”

Sam scooted away from Billie as much as he could on the small bus seat and looked away. 

 

When they were at the bus station and were out of earshot of the woman, Billie asked, “What was her problem? Who could get that mad at seeing people who are happy together?”

“I don’t know. Maybe someone who’s lonely and sad,” Sam said.

“Hey, when you put it that way it makes me feel bad for her,” Billie said. “But, she was the one being a judgie-wudgie.”

Sam rubbed Billie’s back as he said, “Yeah, she was. That wasn’t right.” 

“Billie!” Gloria ran up and hugged Billie tightly. “It’s so nice to see you.” Billie hugged her back. 

Gloria turned to Sam and smiled. “Wow, you’re so tall and handsome.”

“I told you he was,” Billie said. “I wouldn’t be with a little dweeb.” 

Sam laughed and kept rubbing Billie’s back. 

“It’s true. I wouldn’t,” Billie murmured. 

 

When they walked into Gloria’s house, Billie said, “Mom, can I borrow some of your clothes? I’m having dinner with Sam’s parents and I don’t really own any meet-the-parents type clothes.”

“You’re not really meeting them. You’ve known them your whole life,” Sam reminded her. He hated seeing Billie so nervous. 

“You know what I mean,” Billie said. She turned to Gloria and said, “I’m just going to look through your closet.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” Gloria said. After Billie left, Gloria asked, “Sam, do you want something to drink? Tea?”

“Tea sounds great,” Sam said. He sat on the couch as Gloria put a kettle on. 

She sat down next to him and said, “You know, it’s so strange. When Billie was growing up I thought she was so different from me. I loved her, of course. But, I kept thinking I’d never figure out how to bond with her. We were just too different. And before I knew it… she grew up to be just like me. Which, it turns out, is just as scary.” She shook her head. “Sorry. I’m rambling.” 

She heard the whistle of the tea kettle and got up. As she started making two cups, she told Sam, “I’m so glad you’re with Billie. I worry a lot about-- well, I worry about everything-- but, one of the biggest things I worry about is her never meeting a nice boy.” She sat down with both cups of tea and smiled at Sam. “And now she’s ended with the nicest boy, so that’s a big relief.” 

Sam hesitated and then said, “Well…” He bit his lip. He hated watching the smile fade from Gloria’s face, but he wanted to be honest with her. “Um, Billie and I aren’t sure what’s going to happen after this summer. I can’t really imagine living in New York forever and she doesn’t want to live anywhere else and… it’s all just a lot to decide on.” 

“Right… right. I was being presumptuous. I’m sorry,” Gloria said. “Of course you don’t know exactly what you want. You’re just kids.” 

“Not exactly,” Sam said thoughtfully. He looked around the familiar house. “When I first came over here when we were in second grade… you were about the age I am now, huh?”

Gloria laughed a little. “Wow. I guess so. But, assure you that I was definitely just a kid and had nothing figured out.” She frowned a little bit, thinking about Billie’s childhood and everything she regretted about it.

Sam squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Hey, you figured things out enough to raise the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

Gloria raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, you sound like someone who’s not sure what they want,” she said sarcastically.

Before Sam could respond to that, Billie walked out, wearing a red dress that was only slightly more meet-the-parents appropriate than her usual clothes. “How do I look?” 

“Perfect, always,” Sam said, although inside he was getting more and more worried that this was going to go badly no matter what Billie wore. 

 

At dinner, Harold unapologetically stared at Billie, completely perplexed by the person sitting across from him.

Jean looked between both Sam and Billie as they shoved lasagna in their mouths. “Are you getting anything to eat in New York?”

“Sure,” Sam said, so she wouldn’t worry.

“Not really,” Billie said. She wiped her mouth on her sleeve and then told Jean, “Thank you for remembering all of my allergies.” 

“Of course,” Jean said. 

After a long silence, Sam said, “It’s too bad Lindsay couldn’t be here.”

“Yeah, she and Bill could have bonded over leaving town at the earliest possible opportunity and never looking back,” Harold murmured bitterly.

“It’s kind of a suffocating place to be,” Billie said, with her mouth still full. She took a big gulp of water and swallowed, then added, “I mean, in a nice sort of way.” After a second, she said, “You know, I always found your house is nice. It was probably the best, most soothing place to be in my entire childhood.”

Jean smiled at her and said, “Thank you. I’m very glad we could be that for you.”

Billie added, “Nothing happened here between me and Sam all those times I slept over, if you were worried about that.”

Sam could tell from the horrified looks that came over his parents’ faces that they definitely hadn’t thought about that until Billie brought it up. But, they were thinking about it now.

Sam cleared his throat, desperate for another topic. “You know, Billie does this show at a piano bar. It’s pretty popular. So, that’s really cool.”

“Yeah, that’s much cooler than a real job,” Harold murmured. 

“I don’t have a real job yet either,” Sam reminded him.

“Yes, but you have a degree,” Harold said. He turned to Billie and asked, “What exactly is your plan for the future?”

“I don’t have one,” Billie said. 

“So, you’re going to, what, live off Sam?” Harold asked.

“Would that be so bad?” Sam asked. “I mean, mom never had a job.”

“She had my children. I have a feeling Bill’s not going to do that for you,” Harold said. 

“Um, I have to go,” Billie said, standing up. She hurried out of the dining room and into Sam’s bedroom. 

Sam followed her. 

 

Billie was sitting on Sam’s bed, looking around. “They kept everything exactly the same. That’s really nice.” Her lip was trembling hard. She’d set her glasses down next to her on the bed so she could wipe away her tears. 

Sam sat down next to Billie. “I’m sorry about my dad.”

“He’s not saying anything that’s not true,” Billie said. “I don’t have any plans for the future. I’ve never really been able to imagine myself having a future. Maybe that’s what happens when you’re in the hospital as much as I was as a kid.”

“I don’t have a plan for the future either,” Sam said. “Not really.”

“Yeah, but you basically know what’s going to happen,” Billie said. “You’ll move back here or somewhere like it, get a solid job, meet a woman who’s… easier to be with than me. Have kids.”

“Why are you so sure that’s what I want?” Sam asked.

Billie put her glasses back on then turned to Sam. “Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you haven’t always imagined that, for your entire life?” 

Sam sighed and looked down.

“It’s okay,” Billie said. “I’m not trying to guilt you. I’m not mad at you. I definitely don’t regret having fun this summer. I’m just saying… I don’t know. I’m just saying it sort of sucks for me but it’s not your fault that you want something different.” 

“Do you have any idea how much I like you?” Sam asked her.

“Sure, you tell me all the time,” Billie said. 

“You’re beautiful. I mean, every time you walk into a room it surprises me again how beautiful you are. And I feel so close to you. We can spend every minute together and I don’t get sick of you. Because you’re just… fun,” Sam said. “You’re fun to be around in a way that no one else is.” 

Billie nodded. “I know all that. I mean, appreciate you saying it again. That’s really nice.”

Sam shook his head. “You don’t get it. I’m saying it again because I want you to understand that I like you so much that it’s changing what I want.” 

Billie stared at him with surprise.

“I can’t imagine meeting someone I like as much as I like you,” Sam said. “I don’t want to just walk away from that, even if I don’t know exactly what it’s going to be like if I stay with you.” 

Billie kept looking back at him uncertainly. She still wasn’t sure whether he was saying something decisive or just being romantic. 

“I was thinking of starting on the path to becoming a teacher in New York,” Sam told her.

Billie sniffled. “Are you serious?” 

“Yes,” Sam said. He took her hand. “That future you think I’m so into? Imagining that for myself was basically programmed into me. I mean, that’s what every good sci-fi movie is about.” 

Billie gently kissed him. “You know, if you want to live in New York for real you’re going to have to start paying rent. My roommates are pretty strict about not letting boyfriends become extra, freeloading roommates.” 

“Deal,” Sam said. He added, “And once I get a job, maybe we can find a place that’s not a closet.” 

Billie frowned. “I like my apartment,” she said defensively.

Sam ran a hand down Billie’s face. “Well, if we find a different place, maybe we could get TV.”

Billie grinned and said, “Oh, yeah, that would be nice.” 

Sam kissed her and squeezed her hand. “You ready to go out and face my parents again?”

She shook her head. 

“Billie. I’ll be with you. I won’t let my dad call you Bill or say anything bad about you, okay?” 

After a second, she nodded. “Okay. Let’s go.”

 

They stepped out of Sam’s room, holding hands. Sam put his arm around Billie’s waist as they approached the dining room table. 

“Are you two alright?” Jean asked, frowning with concern when she noticed the make up smudges around Billie’s eyes. 

“We’re great,” Sam said. “We had a really great discussion about the future and how much we want to spend it together.” He squeezed Billie’s waist as he said, “So, thanks for prompting that, dad.” 

Billie let out a loud, ugly snort-laugh. Sam grinned up at her admiringly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Billie run into Neal and catch up.

After dinner, Jean said, “Well, goodbye, Billie. Have a nice night.” 

Harold was sitting on the couch, pretending to be absorbed in a newspaper. 

“I’m actually gonna take off too,” Sam said.

Jean tilted her head. “What do you mean? I put fresh sheets on your bed and everything. It’s all ready.”

“Well, Gloria said if we stay at her place we could spend the night in Billie’s room together, which I’m guessing you guys would not, um, allow…”

“Good guess,” Harold said loudly from the couch. 

“Oh,” Jean said. After a long pause, she said, “Okay.” She laughed and added, “I don’t know why I said ‘okay’ like you’re asking permission. It’s just hard for me to accept how grown up you are.” She hugged Sam, then looked at him sternly and asked, “You are going to see us again before you leave again, right?”

“Of course,” Sam assured her.

She nodded, then turned to Billie. After a moment of hesitation, she pulled her into a hug. “Nice to see you again,” she said.

 

“I’ve been using your room as storage,” Gloria told Billie. “I didn’t have time to move all those boxes out. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, that’s okay it’s still way bigger than what we’re used to,” Sam said with a laugh.

Billie frowned and asked, “Do you not like my apartment?”

“No, it’s fine,” Sam murmured, rubbing her arm gently. He turned to Gloria and said, “Good night.”

 

When they were in Billie’s bedroom, Sam undressed down to his boxers and t-shirt and then stretched out on the bed. He watched Billie as she pulled her dress off.

“You know, there’s going to be a day when you don’t stare at me every time I’m undressing,” Billie said. “Do you ever think about that and get sad?” 

Sam frowned. “No. We don’t have to think about that now.”

“You’re right,” Billie said. She got in bed next to Sam. “Hey, I want to tell you something. I’ve been meaning to say it for a long time.” 

“What is it?” Sam asked as he ran his hand up and down her back.

“I love you,” she said.

Sam grinned. “I love you too.” He kissed her gently.

“I mean it. I really do love you,” Billie told him. “I want you to know that.”

Sam laughed and said, “Billie, I believe you.”

“But, I want you to know it’s not just that you’re nice,” Billie said. “Because I know… I know it would make sense if a guy was nice, decent to me, that I’d say I love him. But, that’s not why I’m saying it. All the stuff you said today about how it’s fun to be around me, that’s how I feel about you.”

Sam smiled as he ran his hands through Billie’s hair. “I kind of figured you meant it. I don’t think you’ve ever said anything just to be nice in your entire life.”

Billie frowned. “Are you calling me mean?” 

“No, no, not at all,” Sam assured her as he petted her hair. “You’re just not very good at being fake. It’s one of the things I love about you.” He gave her a quick kiss.

He glanced towards the door and then said, “These walls are probably kind of thin for us to have sex with your mom home, huh?”

“Yeah, Sam, you might have to try to resist me for a few days, if that’s possible,” Billie said.

 

“Everyone’s staring,” Billie said as they walked around downtown. “I miss how in New York no one gives a crap about anyone.” 

“Let them stare,” Sam said, taking her hand.

Billie grinned. 

They walked around the corner and Sam bumped right into someone. His eyes widened when he recognized Neal. 

“Uh, hi,” he said. “I didn’t know you were visiting home right now.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know you were…” Neal stared at Billie. 

“Uh, well, we are,” Sam said, squeezing Billie’s hand tighter. 

“I require further explanation,” Neal said, looking back and forth between them.

“Let’s get ice cream,” Billie suggested. 

 

They sat down in a booth. Sam put his arm around Billie. He definitely felt weird showing her physical affection in front of Neal, but it felt important to not let on how weird he felt about it. 

“I guess I’ll start with asking why you’re dressed like that,” Neal said.

“I’m a woman,” Billie said. “I realized it around high school graduation. That’s why I took off and kind of stopped checking in with everyone.”

“Not everyone,” Neal said, glancing towards Sam. 

“Yeah, this is sort of a recent thing,” Sam said. “It started at the beginning of the summer so it’s been, like, two months.” He quickly added, “But, we’re pretty serious.”

“I always kind of thought you were gay,” Neal said.

“Well, like Billie said, she’s a woman,” Sam said tensely. 

“You’re going by Billy?” Neal asked, wrinkling his forehead. “That’s not a girl’s name. Why even change it at that point?”

“It’s with an i-e, dumbass,” Billie murmured. 

Sam glared at Neal and said, “She’s your friend. Could you try to not be a dick?”

“Me? He--” He rolled his eyes at Sam’s glare. “She is the one who just called me a dumbass. I guess you’re always just gonna take your girlfriend’s side now?” He shook his head and said, “God, this is so weird.”

Billie glared and asked, “Do you even have a girlfriend?”

“Not at the moment,” Neal murmured. “But, the ones I have had were real girls.” 

Sam rubbed Billie’s arm and asked, “Could you take a walk for a minute? I’ll talk to him.” 

Billie got up and left.

“Why’d you send him away? Are you going to fight me?” Neal asked.

“No, I just didn’t want her to have to be here until you’re done talking like she’s a guy,” Sam said. He added, “But, I could fight you if it comes to that.”

Neal rolled his eyes and said, “Oh, come on, Sam. Just because you had a weird growth spurt doesn’t mean you can pull off talking all macho. I’d be more afraid to fight Bill and he’s wearing a dress.”

Sam crossed his arms.

Neal sighed. “I’d be more afraid to fight Billie and she’s wearing a dress. Better?” He glared and added, “You have to admit it’s pretty weird to just get used to.”

“It wasn’t for me,” Sam said.

“Yeah, no kidding!” Neal said, staring at him with disbelief. “Look, I like Bill...ie and everything, but come on. The weirdest, nerdiest person we know puts on a skirt and suddenly you’re into him-- her. Crap. Sorry. But, you get my point, right?”

“Yeah,” he said. “But, when I saw her again… I didn’t see that awkward kid. She’s this amazing, grown up woman who just…” He trailed off as he thought about how he felt around Billie. 

Neal raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I can’t say I get it, but… you look happier than I’ve ever seen you right now, so… cool, I guess.”

Sam nodded, glad they were at least getting close to an understanding.

“So you…” Neal leaned forward, whispering, “You suck each other’s dicks?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Sam asked.

“If the answer was no, you would’ve just answered, so… I guess now you don’t have to,” Neal said. He furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re sure you’re not gay?” 

Sam shook his head. “I’ve never been into a guy.” 

“Okay, but Billie’s body…”

“It’s sexy to me,” Sam said with a shrug. “I guess I can’t explain it logically but I just know she’s a woman and I like it.” 

“Well, this is the ‘80s I guess,” Neal murmured. “There’s a new wave coming, alright.”

“Maybe if you got to know her you could see what I see,” Sam said.

Neal furrowed his eyebrows. “You want me to be into your girlfriend?” 

Sam rolled his eyes. “I don’t mean it like that. I just mean, maybe you could get to know her again as the cool, grown up woman that she is. You don’t want to just lose one of your best friends, who was there for you through your whole childhood, do you?”

“I guess not,” Neal admitted. He sighed and said, “My two best friends are dating each other. I’m a third wheel for life.”

Sam laughed and said, “I promise we’ll make sure to include you. If you can promise not to say anything to Billie to make her feel like you think of her as a guy. Okay?” 

“Deal,” Neal said with a nod. 

 

Sam went outside and found Billie. “You can come back in now if you want,” he said.

“Did you punch him for me?” Billie asked. “Because, even though that would be kind of sexy, you don’t have to do that. I’ve heard way worse.”

Sam laughed. “No, I just talked to him.” He stuck his chin up and said, “If he hadn’t changed the way he talked about you, I totally would’ve punched him, though.” 

Billie grinned and said, “Hot.” 

They returned to the ice cream parlor. For a while after they got their sodas, they just sat there not saying anything. Billie moved her straw up and down, making a loud noise. Finally, she asked Neal, “How’ve you been?

“College was great. Basically a non-stop party,” Neal said. “I hope dental school will be just as good. What were you doing while you were off the grid?”

“Bartending,” Billie said.

“That’s disappointing,” Neal said.

“What do you mean?” 

“Uh, someone just disappears for four years in this boring town and you think people didn’t gossip about it non-stop? Every summer, every spring break, every Hanukkah, I hear a new Bill Haverchuck rumor.” 

Billie turned to Sam. “Is he being serious?”

“It… comes up,” Sam said. 

“My personal favorite is that you became a sea captain on a fishing boat,” Neal said.

Sam snorted. “I forgot about that one. Like she wouldn’t be vomiting over the side of the boat in five seconds.” 

“I could be on a boat if I wanted to. I just don’t want to,” Billie murmured. Neal and Sam both laughed. After a second, Billie laughed too. “Fine, I get seasick,” she mumbled. 

When their laughter died down, Billie told Neal, “I’m sorry that I didn’t just write you and tell you the truth.”

“I understand why you didn’t,” Neal said. He reluctantly added, “Obviously. But, I would never want to not be friends with you. Even if it’s gonna take me awhile to get used to you being… some bartender in New York who wears mini-skirts.” He glanced over Billie, taking in her new look. “Is your life all just glamour and excitement now? Because I remember you reading issues of TVGuide cover-to-cover for fun and refusing to go into that record store in the mall because you said it looked sketchy.”

Billie stuck up her chin and said, “Well, now every day of my life is like an episode of Rhoda or something.”

Neal laughed and said, “Okay, that is the most Haverchuck way anyone could possibly describe being a happening young woman in New York City.” 

Sam laughed, squeezing Billie affectionately. “Hey let’s order another round of sodas,” he suggested. 

“Sounds good to me,” Neal said.


End file.
